People are born comparers.
- Toddlers can be happily playing when another child enters the room and instantly they begin comparing toys or lunch boxes.
- When a new school year starts, students compare who had the coolest summer, or who is wearing the coolest outfit.
- As adults there’s little we don’t compare: cars, children, spouses, houses, vacations, education, and hobbies.
- Social media provides a platform that fuels comparison.
In and of itself, comparison isn’t a bad thing. However, it can lead to a downward spiral that can become problematic.
- Comparison can lead to desire for something other that what we have.
- Desire can lead to lust where we crave something different than what we have.
- Lust can lead to coveting where we demand something different than what we have.
- Coveting is a sin, which God addressed in the tenth commandment.
- Sin leads to death. Not necessarily physical death, but a death of relationships, of marriages and families, of careers and finances.
Advertising Fuels Comparison
In this regard, Ignorance can be a wonderful thing. How happy we are with what we have, until we find out that there’s something better.
The advertising industry thrives making us constantly aware of the latest and greatest models, upgrades, features and benefits. We’re promised that true happiness is only a step (or click) away.
One of the most successful ad campaigns of all time asked the question “Is it true that blondes have more fun?” Which was followed by another ad campaign, which asked: “Wouldn’t you really rather be a redhead?” Legend has it that both campaigns were created by a very successful female who happened to be a brunette.
The Garden of Eden
Comparison didn’t originate on Madison Avenue, but rather in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve had it made. God created them both in His image and placed them in a place of absolute perfection. All that they had to do was enjoy life and enjoy each other.vThere were no diseases, no pests, and no predators. God came and visited with them every evening. What more could they want?
From the “you had one job to do” category, the only requirement given to Adam (Eve had not yet been created) was in Genesis 2:17 where God said:
“But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it; for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.”
Genesis 2:17
In Genesis 3:1-5, Satan makes his first appearance and has a conversation with Eve. In verse one, he distorted what God said, asking if God had said that she couldn’t eat of any tree in the garden. In verse four, he contradicts what God said by saying Eve wouldn’t die. In verse five, he promises that her eyes would be opened and that she would be like God.
Against a backdrop of perfection, Satan created an illusion of something better. Adam and Eve had to choose between the reality of what they had and the unknown of door number two. Regretfully they chose poorly.
What are the strategies and tactics that we can use to keep from becoming a casualty on the battlefield of spiritual warfare?
The Tenth Commandment
The Tenth Commandment is a good place to start:
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s.”
Exodus 20:17
The word covet means to want something desperately or wrongfully, especially when it belongs to someone else. It implies being obsessed with something to the point of being willing to sin to get it, or sinning if we don’t get it. The downward spiral that leads to coveting begins with the lust of the eyes.
- Eve saw that the fruit was good for food.
- Achan saw the Babylonian garment, silver, and gold which he coveted, leading to Israel’s defeat at Ai and his death and the death of his family.
- Samson repeatedly saw and lusted for the daughters of the Philistines whom he was forbidden to have contact with. This led to his death.
- David saw and lusted for Bathsheba, coveted her, leading to adultery, the murder of her husband, and a spiral of tragedy and death through David’s family and the remainder of his reign as king.
Where is The Line?
There is nothing inherently wrong with desiring a bigger house or a newer car. Where is the line between a healthy desire which leads to ambition and sinful lust that leads to coveting?
For Adam and Eve, the line was crossed when Satan deceived them into thinking that God wasn’t good. It was when he caused them to question His Word, doubt His goodness, and persuade them to act outside of His will.
Comparison always blurs that line. The most effective antidote to comparison is contentment. But contentment does not come naturally!
To the contrary, Paul said in Philippians 4:11 that he had “learned to be content.” He spoke of times when he had more than he needed and times when he had less, but that he had learned to be OK in either situation.
He chose to always see the glass as half full, not half empty—same glass, different perspective.
Learning to Be Content
The best way to learn to be content is to be intentionally grateful. Gratitude in a key discipline of the Christian life. Jesus modeled it throughout His life and ministry. Paul lists giving thanks as an integral part of being filled with the Holy Spirit.
It’s impossible to covet something we don’t have when we are deliberately and intentionally grateful for what we do have. Conversely, it’s impossible to be content with what we do have if we are constantly lusting over something we don’t have.
We cannot be content with our ten-year-old car that runs fine and is paid for if we hang out at the new car showroom! The same principle applies to home improvement, fashion, and food programs that we watch on TV.
How many families are drowning in debt because they were deceived into thinking that happiness was found in a bigger house and a newer car?
God said that He would provide your needs according to His riches in glory. Which is why we should seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Because the borrower will be the servant to the lender.
How to Avoid Comparison
We can learn how to be content, discipline ourselves to be intentionally grateful to God for what He has blessed us with, and model that to others. We can grasp the difference between wants and needs.
We can passionately thank God for every meal, for a car, our home, and the clothing that we have. We can guard against conversation that reveals lustful or covetous motives. We can be grateful for the blessings that money cannot buy.
People tend to find what they’re looking for. And if we’re in the habit of being thankful and content for His blessings, we won’t have time to compare with other people. When we discover that He is the source of our joy and contentment, we find the abundant life He came to give.